Good afternoon lovelies!
I know, I said that I would be writing more blog posts, but it has been tough and I'm finally make due on my promises. So, I am going to talk about reactions. Reactions are, very important in my life. They give me anxiety. I often times, find myself in situations where I have no idea how to react and then suppress my feelings until I explode. It happens on many occasions, and actually causes strains in many of my relationships, because I'm being called a child, delusional, illogical... and loads of other things. And it honestly makes me feel horrible, I have become this constant apologetic human, because I am afraid that these people in my life will abandon me if I act or react a certain way; a way they didn't understand, or react too little and its my fault for not speaking up, or reacting too much so no one wants to be around me, because I am crazy, or worst, they understand, but I am not good enough to help or put up with.
It's a lot. These thoughts are constantly weighing me down. These words push down on my chest, and keep me from getting up. I can't get up. These days if I even wake up in the morning and do something productive, its a victory.
I hope that if there is anyone out there, who is reading this, and feeling the same, that your life changes, because you deserve better. You deserve the world.
Thank you for listening.